Harsh Light Of Day
by BittenAndStaked
Summary: Twist performed for the Spuffyverse. A different kind of ending for Buffy and Spike in Harsh Light Of Day. Spike leaves halfway through their fight and Buffy feels the need to go and find him. When she eventually tracks him down she realises fighting him


**"Well that was pathetic."**  
  
Buffy turned sharply on hearing his accented tones, laced with a playful edge of sarcasm. As she swung to face him she moved straight into the path of his fist, he struck her hard and she stumbled backwards and fell to the floor.  
  
"Isn't it a fantastic day? Birds singing, squirrels making lots of rotten little squirrels…" Spike looked down at her as she struggled to regain her senses and then looked up at the tree, letting the dappled sunlight warm his skin. "…Sun beaming down in a nice non-fatal way. It's very exciting. Can't wait to see if I freckle."  
  
Getting swiftly to her feet, Buffy grabbed hold of a nearby tree stake and lunged at Spike. She hit out with her elbow and followed through with several punches, the majority of which he blocked and she found her brain desperately trying to catch up and decipher just what was going on. He seemed stronger.  
  
She reeled backwards again as he caught her with another punch, landing on the hard sun baked grass she bought her legs up and kicked him backwards just as he moved to pin her. Leaping to her feet, she gripped her makeshift stake tighter in her small hand and rushed him, forcing the wood deep into his chest.  
  
It was over. Finally, she'd defeated him.  
  
Buffy almost gasped as his hand grabbed hers, his fingers holding hers tightly as he pressed the stake against his own chest.  
  
He chuckled and her blood ran cold with fear.  
  
"Oh…do it again…" Spike grinned down at her, his tone remaining playful as he watched the confusion surfacing on her face. As she pulled the stake out, he cocked his head to one side and put on a bedroom voice. "It tickles, you know, in a good way."  
  
Buffy watched the wound in Spike's chest rapidly close. Taking a deep breath she realised what was happening, just why he suddenly felt stronger to her, just why he was out fighting her in broad daylight when she was supposed to be relatively safe from the demons of the world.  
  
"The gem." Buffy said with resignation.  
  
"Oh yeah." Spike purred and held his left hand up by his side. "The Gem of Amara."  
  
Moving with lightning fast speed, he knocked the stake from her hand and punched her hard enough to knock her to the floor again. There was something fun about being indestructible and he didn't want to risk letting her get the better of him.  
  
Standing over Buffy as she lay curled up on the grass trying to regroup herself, he decided it was still kill or be killed with her, it was always kill or be killed. No matter how indestructible he thought he was, she'd still find a way to get past it and beat him down again.  
  
He frowned and decided that today she wasn't going to get the chance. This was it. No more games. Today he'd kill her.  
  
"Official sponsor of my killing you…" Slipping into game face he lunged at her only to be kicked backwards.  
  
He growled low in his throat as she got to her feet and started a barrage of punches that he easily blocked. Launching his own attack, he caught her hard across the jaw and then grabbed hold of her arm as he kicked her in the stomach, causing her to stumble backwards. Catching hold of her arm, he twisted it viciously and growled low by her ear as his other hand came to rest on her shoulder, his fingers pressing into her flesh.  
  
Buffy clung to the pole with her free hand as he pressed her into it, his body hard against the softness of her back. She closed her eyes for a second to absorb the feeling of him there, the sense of power he was emitting caused her knees to feel weak and the possibility of him finally sinking his teeth into her made her tremble with anticipation. This was wrong. She shouldn't be feeling this way. Not about another vampire. Not about him.  
  
Coming to her senses just as he neared her throat, she reached over backwards and grabbed hold of his windpipe, choking him and causing him to break off his attack. Turning to fight him she set in motion a series of beautifully executed kicks and punches that seemed to be countered by his own liquid moves. She felt warm in her stomach as she fought him, each move they made so well timed that it seemed more like dancing than fighting. A dance of death. A dance of passion.  
  
Caught off guard by her thoughts she winced in pain as she smashed into the glass table and rolled off onto the floor.  
  
Spike sucked his cheeks into a grin and stalked towards her, watching her desperate attempts to regain her senses and wondering just where she'd gone to a few moments ago. He'd seen it in her eyes, a faraway look that said she wasn't all there with him, like she was having a revelation in the middle of their fight.  
  
"Getting tired, Slayer?" He purred down at her as she struggled to her feet.  
  
Her body tired and sore she pushed herself up off the dusty ground and into their dance again. Every punch she threw at him seemed to miss her target, he moved like a ghost as he weaved and dodged her frail attempts at an attack. It was like he knew what she was thinking, could see in her body just what she was going to do next and had the perfect counter to every move she made.  
  
Her eyes widened as Xander appeared, she didn't need this, she couldn't let her concentration slip or she'd wind up dead and Xander was only going to distract her. She had to remain focused to win this fight.  
  
She watched in horror as Xander made a lunge for Spike and got a swift knee in the stomach before being hurled against a post near the college wall.  
  
"Xander, get out of here." Buffy ground out as she struggled to stand, holding her side tightly in an attempt to stop the pain.  
  
"So…you let Parker take a poke, eh?" Spike splayed his hand out against his stomach and eased it downwards towards his crotch, feeling the Slayers eyes following his movement. Her perusal of his crotch fanned the desire burning in his veins that their fight had already ignited. "Didn't seem like you knew each other that well."  
  
Buffy backed away as he advanced on her, his tone turning seductive but laced with a hard edge. She felt her knees weaken under the intensity of his look, passion and desire clearly showing in his eyes.  
  
"What exactly did it take to pry apart the Slayers dimpled knees?" Spike smirked.  
  
She knew it was comeback for her earlier comment about Drusilla leaving him but there was something else mixed in there, a low edge of hurt like he was upset at her choice of man. As the lingering feeling of arousal bought on by her fight made her skin prickle she felt the sudden need to push him away, to run away and not face the way fighting him always made her feel. _I'd rather be fighting you anyway._  
  
Was that all they did? Was it only fighting that transpired each time they met or was there something deeper, something that burnt in them both, a connection, a desire they couldn't ignore.  
  
She shook her head and set her jaw tight as she pushed away her thoughts.  
  
"You're a pig, Spike."  
  
She regretted it the instant it left her lips, the next thing she saw was him leaping up two steps and bringing his foot around in a crushing blow to her side. Falling to the floor, she crawled away from him and then looked up to meet his eyes.  
  
"Did he play the sensitive lad and get you to seduce him? That's a good trick if the girl's thick enough to buy it."  
  
Feeling the anger inside her spiralling out of control, she rushed him, wanting to take it all out on him and damning him for always being able to see things that she couldn't until it was too late. She didn't know how he did it, how he saw straight through things in such an easy way like the answers were right there in front of him while they were hidden from her.  
  
Punching wildly, she felt her body grow tired from exertion as he blocked each one without even having to concentrate, as he kicked her to the ground again she found herself wanting to give up the fight. There was no way she could defeat him.  
  
"I wonder what you did wrong." Spike looked thoughtful as he watched her struggling to catch her breath, her physical and emotional tiredness written clearly in her body language and her eyes. He met them for a moment and pushed away from the feelings they sparked in him, some kind of sympathy for her, some echo of desire. "Too strong? Did you bruise the boy?"  
  
Biting his lower lip, he grinned wickedly at her and hooked his thumb into his belt, drawing her eyes back to his crotch. He couldn't deny the feeling this time. The way her eyes made his skin burn and his desire for her alter course, going from wanting her dead to just wanting her.  
  
He locked eyes with her as she looked up at him, pain and resignation showing in her now dull green orbs as she breathed heavily, waiting for him to make a move, waiting for him. He growled and tried to quash the feelings she inspired, the temptation to reach his hand out and haul her up onto her feet, to smooth down her hair and clean her cheeks of dirt and tears so she was perfect again. Beautiful.  
  
Feeling like he was losing control he remembered all the things he'd been saying to her and then remembered Angel. He closed his eyes for a moment as undiluted anger hit him. Why was Angel so much better than him, why did he deserve to have the two girls he himself thought most beautiful? Drusilla had been his, through and through, and Buffy, she should have been his too. Unable to control his emotions he stared down at the girl in question, narrowing his eyes until he caught the scared look in hers. He couldn't stop the words from leaving his lips, his tone giving away the hurt and anger he was feeling, his desire to spite her for her actions stronger than ever. It should have been him. He should've been the one to be with her, to hold her, to touch her, to love her.  
  
"Whatever." He said in a dismissive tone as though he was trying to dismiss his feelings. "Guess you're not worth a second go." Spike looked pensive for a moment, trying not to be affected by the depth of hurt in her eyes. "Come to think of it, someone told me as much. Who was that? Oh yeah, Angel."  
  
He blocked each punch she threw as she launched herself at him, her own anger turning into an inferno of rage inside her. He didn't have the right to call her on her previous mistakes--it was none of his business who she saw. So why did his words bother her so much? It was the tone she realised, the way in which he'd said those words. He'd sounded bitter, angry with her for being with Angel and Parker.  
  
She broke off her attack and stared at him as he smirked. Looking past the false calm exterior she searched his eyes for a reason, for something to tell her why he had been so spiteful. She wanted proof that it was just him trying to torment her into becoming angry and slipping up. She needed to know it was nothing else.  
  
Lost in the stormy depths of his eyes she blinked.  
  
Everything was suddenly crystal clear.  
  
"Jealous." Buffy whispered as she lowered her head, her eyes fixing on the floor but not seeing it as it blurred while she contemplated what she'd realised. He was jealous, jealous of Parker, jealous of Angel. Jealous that it wasn't him she was giving affection and her body to.  
  
Spike growled and turned sharply. There was no way he was going to continue fighting her now. She'd think that she had the edge on him, would use her assumption against him. Would play him like he'd played her.  
  
"This isn't over…Buffy."  
  
She looked up on hearing his low growled words to her and found him gone, no sign of him anywhere. His speaking her name had bought her out of her reverie and grounded her. He rarely used it, rarely called her anything other than his own pet names or Slayer, the few times she remembered him saying her real name she'd always had a feeling like this. A chill. A warmth. A tingle of anticipation.  
  
Her body trembled with fatigue and mixed emotions as she stared blankly ahead, trying to recuperate from their fight and her revelation. Spike was jealous, he was jealous of her choice of men, of her lovers.  
  
She shook her head to clear the confusion that was settling there and then looked over at Xander where he was sitting with his back against the wall, his face pale and drawn.  
  
"Xander!" Buffy ran over to him, ignoring her own pain and conflict and tending to him as best she could. Anything to take her mind off Spike.  
  
"Ribs. Ow. Think he bashed them in." Xander tried to chuckle but it sent pain shooting out in all directions across his side.  
  
"Let's get you to Giles' place, I have to get weapons and go after Spike." She realised that if Xander had been more alert he would've picked up on what she was really saying. She had to see him. Had to clear the confusion in her head and hopefully put him back into his neat little pigeon hole of pure evil. Her last few encounters with him had started to lead her to believe things were otherwise, that he wasn't wholly evil and that he had the ability to feel, that love was real to him. _Can you love without a soul? Do you love any less, he loved Drusilla, I saw that._  
  
It had taken her over three hours to recount what had happened and finally escape from Giles' apartment. He'd been unwilling to let her go after Spike alone, wanted her to take the scoobies with her as back up but she'd stood firm by her reasoning--if she took her friends along then her concentration would be split, she'd worry about them getting hurt and in turn could end up hurt herself.  
  
Eventually they had caved, had seen that she was being honest and wasn't trying to exclude them. She needed to be alone with Spike. Needed to figure out what was going on in both their heads because if it was what she thought it was then the consequences would be massive. She couldn't fall for another vampire again, had vowed to herself after her relationship with Angel had come to a bitter end that she wouldn't. This time it was imperative she knew what she was feeling, she had to be sure that this was only lust she was feeling and nothing more.  
  
"Wrong lusty feelings." Buffy muttered as a reminder to herself of her intimacy with Parker. Willow had been wrong about him and her lusty feelings, there were no good lusty feelings she decided, only bad ones.  
  
Twirling her stake she looked up and saw the sky turning a mellow shade of blue, dawn was coming and unfortunately this time it meant her job wasn't done. She wished her life would fall back into place, all demons returned to their allotted timeslots and leaving her the daylight hours in which to live an almost normal life. She sighed as she walked up the hill, the stony path gradually winding its way to the top of the bluff. This was her last hope, the last place she'd dreamt of finding him but she was strangely sure that he would be there. All the signs had told her he'd come this way.  
  
Reaching the top of the hill she cast a glance around and caught sight of a lone figure sitting with his knees bought up to his chest as he stared out at the ocean. He turned his head slowly as she advanced a step, the feeling he usually gave her in her stomach was different this time, a quieter version of what it usually was, somehow calmer, gentler, warm.  
  
Silently approaching him, she looked down at her stake and realised how pointless it was. She wasn't here to fight and neither was he. He'd left signs all over Sunnydale that he was heading to this place and he'd left them for her alone to read. Placing the stake down on the grass she smoothed her long denim skirt down and sat down next to him, mirroring his position and bringing her knees up to rest against her chest.  
  
He wasn't watching the sunrise she realised. He was facing the wrong way for that. He was watching the way the changing light played on the ocean, the small crests catching it and turning orange as the sun slowly rose behind them.  
  
Buffy sighed. She didn't know what to say to him, didn't know how to break the silence. Part of her didn't want to, she didn't want to hear him say all the spiteful things again that he had said earlier. She just wanted to be quiet with him, share a calm moment of peace rather than a riot of violence and pain. Her heart beat steadily as her body relaxed, she knew deep inside that he wasn't a threat to her, her Slayer side was telling her that he had no intention to hurt her right now.  
  
Spike stared at the vast expanse of water stretched out in front of him, the waves breaking gently against the shore in a steady rhythm as if they were the oceans heartbeat. It had been a long time since he'd seen the sea in daylight, in over a hundred years it hadn't changed, it had remained a fixed thing in his life while everything else had altered and it seemed to make a bridge between his human self and his demon self, a connection.  
  
He turned his head slightly and looked over at Buffy, her pale golden hair shimmering as the sun rose behind them. He'd realised earlier that she was even more beautiful in the daylight, more stunning and angelic than she'd ever been at night. She was watching the ocean now, her profile serene and peaceful as she blinked slowly, seemingly waiting for him to break the silence for her.  
  
"You were right, you know." He said quietly and moved his eyes to watch the horizon again as the sky turned subtle shades of pink and orange.  
  
"I was?" Buffy frowned slightly, her nose wrinkling with her puzzlement.  
  
"About Dru and me."  
  
Buffy raised her brows and looked over at him, absorbing the soft expression on his face as he stared out into the distance. Remembering his earlier words to her, she let the corners of her mouth twitch into a small smile.  
  
"Oh. That why I got the Parker payback?" She asked with an innocent look.  
  
"Little. Mostly you deserved it." Spike frowned slightly and thought about their earlier dance, the feelings it ignited in him had lingered long into the night and had bought him here. He had watched the ocean while his remaining humanity had cursed him for saying such things to spite her.  
  
"I see. Guess we both make bad decisions. Parker was supposed to be my goodbye to the past, my take a risk guy, Joe normal. In the end, I just ended up playing into his hands and doing exactly as he wanted me to. I'm such an idiot." She folded her arms across her knees and let her chin come to rest on them as she heaved a long sigh. It was weird talking to her mortal enemy about such personal matters but it somehow relieved her, lifted the weight that had been pressing down on her all day.  
  
"Don't blame yourself, love." Spike turned his head to look at her again, watching the sadness that seemed to fleet across her features as she moved her eyes to meet his. "Blokes love to be manipulative, makes us feel all manly."  
  
She smiled.  
  
He swore he could feel his heart skip a beat. The intensity of it was blinding and he couldn't remember ever seeing her smile that way, her whole face lit up with it.  
  
"Thought that was weapons?"  
  
Spike chuckled over her remembering their first fight, their first dance.  
  
"Those too." He gave her a crooked smile and watched hers fade away.  
  
"Is this weird?" Buffy looked pensive as she searched his eyes for an answer, she felt so comfortable around him, so relaxed. He was meant to be her enemy, she wasn't meant to be fraternising with him and talking in such an easy manner, she was meant to be fighting him. Her chest ached and her stomach knotted with confusion as his look turned thoughtful. She didn't want to hear his answer, her moment of calm had shattered and now she was scared that he'd come out of his moment too and they would have to fight again, go through the motions even if their hearts weren't in it.  
  
Spike just arched a brow.  
  
"Why?" He could understand what had her spooked, sitting next to her wasn't exactly what he'd planned to do when he'd got the ring but it seemed fitting somehow. It was as though the fact she couldn't kill him had given them a chance to finally face up to the feelings that had always gone unsaid between them.  
  
"Just sitting here, together, talking like we're old friends not old enemies." She knitted her brows into a frown again and watched him frown too.  
  
"Suppose. We could fight if it makes you feel more comfortable around me." He waited for her to respond.  
  
Sitting together quietly they realised that neither of them was willing to make the first move, the desire to share a moment's peace was equal on both sides and it caused a long silent period while they watched each other.  
  
Buffy blinked slowly. Her eyes locked with his as the sun continued to rise behind them, warming her back and she wondered if it was doing the same to him--gently warming his normally cold body. She knew he didn't want to fight, had known it instinctively when she'd first come to rest next to him and it was clear he knew she didn't want to fight or he wouldn't have mentioned it. His words had been an obvious challenge to her, would she fight purely because he bought to her attention the fact she was comfortable just being with him or would she be brave enough to continue with their sitting together peacefully and enjoying each others company.  
  
She'd decided before he'd even finished what he'd been saying that she wasn't going to make a move to ruin what was happening between them.  
  
"Do we have to fight?" She asked quietly as he blinked at her.  
  
"Not right now, not if you don't want to." Came his solemn reply and she frowned again, a stab of misery hitting her hard in the stomach as she thought about what he'd said.  
  
"But we have to at some point?"  
  
"The way I'm seeing it, we have to fight or we'll end up shagging to try and get this feeling out of us." Spike fixed his eyes on the ocean again as he spoke--it was a field of gold in front of him, reflecting the warm hue of the sky and the light of the sun. This day had been weird enough without his sitting quietly with the Slayer at his side, being out in the sun had made him feel different, more human and a part of him wanted to reject that while the other half wanted to embrace it.  
  
Buffy wanted to say that what he'd said was true, wanted to confirm to him that he was being perceptive as usual--they both wanted each other more than they were willing to accept.  
  
"Reminds me of the last time you were here and you said to me that 'you'll fight and you'll shag…'" She mused as she moved her eyes to rest on the ocean too, the second her eyes were off him she felt his come to rest on her again.  
  
"You remember that? Love isn't brains…" He couldn't help sounding incredulous, she seemed to have everything he'd ever said to her put to memory and it only reinforced the feeling he had about her--that she had always felt the same way about him as he felt about her, only she'd never shown it.  
  
"…It's blood." Buffy finished his sentence for him and turned her head to smile at him as he smiled. "You remember it too. It haunts me, you know. A simple truth spoken so easily always inflicts the most damage. All about the blood…blood has a lot to answer for."  
  
"In my case more than yours." He smirked and stretched his legs out in front of him, his feet crossing as his hands splayed out behind him to prop himself up.  
  
"I suppose." Buffy's tone was subdued as she pondered how he was becoming increasingly relaxed around her. "What happens if we act on this? I don't think I can ignore it any longer…I've tried, I really have."  
  
Spike looked over at her and frowned at the note of sad desperation that entered her voice, he knew what she was feeling, he'd tried to resist the pull he felt towards her too but he always seemed to fail.  
  
"I've tried so hard to have a normal life with a Joe regular but it never turns out the way it's supposed to." She pouted as she stared down at her knees, feeling his eyes burning into her as he narrowed them.  
  
"You like your men evil, a little monster in them…or maybe it's just that with us you can be who you are, you don't have to hide the Slayer in you and you don't have to be gentle for fear of hurting us, you can just be the girl you hold locked inside."  
  
Buffy absorbed his words in silence. It was another simple truth. She was scared when she was with a normal guy, scared that he'd discover what she was and scared she would hurt them by accident but more than that, she was sick of pretending to be something she wasn't. She wasn't normal. She shouldn't have to hide her real self behind a lie. She'd spent too long trying to do that, hiding herself from the world for fear of being thought a freak. She wanted to be with someone who knew her, like when she was with her friends or her mother. She just wanted to be Buffy.  
  
"What do we do now?" She mumbled into her knees and held her breath as she waited for his answer.  
  
"Don't know. Guess that's up to you but I'm figuring it's going to take some time, you'll probably do the whole thinking thing for a while and ponder just what you're getting into, then you'll decide fighting me is better, in the long run. Me, I follow my blood, always have done, always will."  
  
Blood.  
  
Buffy pondered it. Her mind was telling her she was insane, she'd promised herself she wouldn't do this again, not with a vampire and especially not with a soulless one. For all she knew this could be a ploy to catch her off guard and drain her dry.  
  
But the sincerity in his voice, the way he'd sounded so dejected when he'd mentioned her probably deciding to stick with fighting him and his jealously earlier, he clearly hadn't wanted those emotions to show to her but couldn't hide them.  
  
Blood.  
  
Her instinct told her he wasn't here to kill her, didn't want to hurt her in any way--or at least in any way she didn't ask him to. Her blood told her to live the words she'd once told Willow.  
  
Seize the day.  
  
Turning to face him, she caught the melancholy expression in his eyes like he was waiting to be sentenced and he knew the answer--she was going to reject him.  
  
"Can you just shut up and kiss me now?" Buffy furrowed her brows and then smiled as a grin spread across his lips.  
  
Leaning towards her, Spike caught her around the back of her head and weaved his fingers into her hair, tugging her mouth to his as he rolled his eyes shut. He suppressed his desire to moan as her warm lips met his, her tongue running along his lower lip and begging entrance as they grew accustomed to kissing each other. He felt the wind knocked out of him as her kisses turned passionate and he surrendered to his desire to match her every move and kissed her fervently in return.  
  
Letting his lips play fiercely against hers and his fingers hold her tightly, Spike felt the sun finally making headway as it rose higher into the sky, warming the world below it and heralding another hot Californian day.  
  
Yesterday had been weird.  
  
Today was going to be weirder.  
  
But it was going to be worth it.  
  
_Carpe diem._

_ end _


End file.
